Tuesday, July 9, 2013


that's the melted icing, not what you THINK** it looks like.

I think cinnamon buns have a bad rap of being difficult and time consuming; now while i wouldn't say they are easy to make, they aren't all that complex, and let's face they give you a good work out if you do it all by hand! and you will probably feel it the next day if you're a weak little sh*t like me. This particular kind that i make are delicious, soft, flavourful and gooey, and comparable to those certain delicious-but-horrendously-expensive type of buns at the mall*.  Seriously a no-fail recipe. And to make it that much better, they are actually ready to eat in 90 minutes! 

Oftentimes i am making them because they are requested. That's how good they are at fooling people you can actually bake hahaha. Anywho, let's cut the chit-chat and get right into it!

What you need:
3/4 C milk
1/4 C margarine, softened
3 1/4 C all-purpose flour, divided. (You may not need it all, or you may need more..depends).
1 (.25 ounce) package (or 2 ¼ tsp.)  instant yeast. (i'm quite generous with the 1/4tsp so don't be afraid to add a bit more!)
1/4 C white sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 C warm water 
1 egg
1 C brown sugar, packed
2 tbsp. ground cinnamon (I have heaping tbsp's of cinnamon b/c i lurrrve it)
1/2 C margarine, softened (or more or less for the sugar mixture)
optional- liposuction...er i mean....

icing: i have no strict recipe to follow, i just pour and taste...but this is a gist. 
margarine -start with 1/2C, add more for taste or as necessary
icing sugar (about half a bag~+more for taste)
1tbsp ish of milk (optional for more liquid consistency)
1/2 tbsp. vanilla (optional for taste). 
-->blend all ingredients together in a bowl until smooth and tasty.

What you need to do:
step one
Heat the milk in a small saucepan until it bubbles, then remove from heat. Mix in margarine; stir until melted. Let cool until lukewarm (not too hot or cold for the yeast to activate).

step two
In a large mixing bowl, combine and mix 2 1/4C flour, yeast, sugar and salt. Add water, egg,and milk mixture; beat well into the dry ingredients. Add the remaining flour by 1/4C increments (I usually sift it with a fork in the measuring cup prior to adding it to the mix, just to fluff it up a bit).

The dough will come together and if you are ghetto like me and are using a fork or spoon instead of one of those fancy kitchenaid mixers, it'll start to stick to the fork resembling a giant, doughy lollipop with a fork instead of a stick to hold on to. Keep goin' woman, this is just the warm up. Also, don't add allllll the remaining flour at this point (if you're a strict measurer-person) you'll wanna leave it still kinda wet so when you put it on the counter to knead, it won't get over-floured. Did that make any sense??!! i can only hope so.

When the dough looks like it's coming together nicely but still not quite floured enough, pull it out of the bowl onto a lightly floured surface and knead that sucker until its smooth, but still tacky. At this point i am continually adding flour to the surface so i would say a good 1/4C to 1/2 C gets added to the dough at this point as well. I am not the type of person that measures or follows a strict guideline, so i couldn't tell you for sure. Just roll with it, and see how it goes ;) see what i did there? hahahaaaaa 

Kneading is the primary workout, and takes a good 10ish minutes. If you are super and strong, it might only take you 5 mins... and if this is you i hate you, i bet you are one of those moms with a killer upper body from wrangling young children for years on end...

if you are skeptical about it being kneaded enough, check this out; i use it all the time. mainly because i'm dumb...and inexperienced...and unprofessional...  

Place the ball of kneaded dough in a large, lightly greased (preferably not-plastic) bowl, and cover with a damp dish towel or cloth. I say not plastic because i usually leave it close to the oven with it turned on low, and generrallllyy plastic+oven =catastrophe!  Leave it in a warm spot to rest for about 10 mins, or so. 

 It should start to rise at this point, and you should be able to see the dough rising and puffing out like the chests of frigate birds...

While it's doin' it's thing rising and such, grab a medium sized bowl and mix together the cinnamon and brown sugar. If you want to, you can also mix the margarine in at this point to make a delightful spread,  but i like to make things complicated and do it another way. you'll see.

Roll out dough into a 12x9 inch rectangle (or as best as you can into a nice symmetrical rectangle.) Spread dough with margarine then add the sugar mixture. 
this looks more like a square but don't let the pic. angle fool you!
you can press the sugar mixture into the margarine with the rolling pin or you can choose to blend it in with a spoon or other utensil (like a basting brush that i use haha). 

Roll up dough lengthwise and pinch seam to seal. Cut into equal size rolls and place cut side up in a lightly greased deep pan (I usually use a brownie or cake pan).

 Cover again with damp towel in a warm part of the house, and let rise until doubled, about 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
success on the second rise!

Bake in the preheated oven for about 10-12 minutes, or until golden and crisp. Dump a pile of icing on top as soon as they come out of the oven, but also save some for later! Serve warm.
hurry! add the icing before we cool down!

ooohh baby! now we're talking!

Don't forget to TRY and REPLY!
^.^adapted from allrecipes ninety minute cinnamon rolls

*talking about Cinnabon, people. is that legal to say on here? THEY TASTE JUST LIKE CINNABON'S CINNAMON BUNS! good. glad i got that off my chest. now let's hope i don't get charged. 

**you THINK it looks like j*zz, don't you. sick f*cks. 

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