Outrageous Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Chewy centre. Crispy exterior. my mouth just came...came back to life that is! although, now that we're kind of on the topic, excess amounts of drool does seem like another similar physiological function in response to... oh nevermind.

FIRST-EVER POST 一

Food is flexible. Not that it has flexibility per-se, but you have the freedom of doing whatever the f*ck you want with it. Following a recipe doesn't always mean following it exactly, as most people do.  Shame on you! If you like your cookies sweeter, add more sugar, if you prefer them salty, add more salt. There are certain ingredients to work with and add or take away that will not ruin your recipe as expected. i know you're out there, guilty as charged for just following a recipe as is. Why not be creative though?

Take for instance the Friends episode where Rachel attempts to make a trifle, and merges two different (and oh-so-juxtaposing) recipes:

Ross: "It tastes like feet!"

Joey: "Well, I like it."

Ross: "Are you kidding?"

Joey: "...I mean, what's not to like? Custard, good. Jam, good. Meat, good!"

The point being, we can mix and match whatever our taste buds desire... albeit some things were probably never meant to be put together --like perhaps custard and meat-- but hey, whatever floats your boat!  

Much like the trifle analogy, the recipes posted have been adapted to suit my personal tastes, (just go with it okay?!) BUT feel free to use the original* recipe or a mix between the two!... i mean, how badly can you f*ck up something like cookies???... just be smart about it! 

And i do promise the recipes will be better than most Friends humor. oh snap.

"It’s a trifle. It’s got all of these layers. First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like something’s wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!" 

*original recipe may not always be available, because let's face it, some of this sh*t came straight from my head**.  However, i will try to find the next closest thing.

**bahahaha who are we kidding, there will almost always be an original... i'm not that talented..i'm actually quite the greenhorn***.BUT I'M STILL CONFIDENT IN WHAT I POST

***i just googled the etymology of 'greenhorn', you'll be pleasantly surprised at how horrid it is: Middle English greene horn, horn of a newly slaughtered animal [originally an animal with green (that is, young) horns]. 
And now you know. You're f*cking welcome.